A pilot, who shall remain anonymous for his own safety, wrote this list of differences between women and balloons.

Balloons can be turned on at the flick of a switch
Balloons don't get mad if you do a "touch and go"
Balloons don't object to a pre-flight inspection
Balloons come with a manual to explain their operation
Balloons have stright weight and balance limitations
Balloons can be flown at any time of the month
Balloons don't come with in-laws
Balloons don't care about how many balloons you have flown before
Balloons and pilot both arrive at the same time
Balloons don't mind if you look at other balloons
Balloons don't mind if you buy balloon magazines
Balloons expect to be tied down
Balloons don't comment on your piloting skills
However, they both have one thing in common - when either one of them goes quiet, it's usually not a good sign.